Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Heaven is...

...cracking open a new tub of Scotsburn Hoofprints ice cream and digging in with a spoon.

Correction: Heaven is cracking open a new tub of Scotsburn Hoofprints ice cream and digging in with a spoon and not gaining weight or lowering my immune system so that I catch H1N1.

It all started when ice cream was on for $2.50 a tub at Superstore, and I bought some. Hoofprints. That started it all. Toffee ice cream with chocolate fudge swirls and - my personal downfall - the tiny, crunchy, perfectly sinful little caramel filled chocolate cups. Thunder thighs and swine flu, here I come. We ate it, it was delicious, and then we practiced restraint for a couple weeks. However, at seven months pregnant, restraint did not last long, and soon I found myself bringing home another tub of ice cream, rationalizing that after the baby was born I would return to my old, ice-cream-free ways. I got it home, opened it with great anticipation only to discover that it was half full. It looked like it had been scooped out with a spoon. Disgusting and disappointing. I returned it and got my money back, but then figured what the heck, I'll e-mail the company just to let them know. I didn't really think it was Scotsburn's fault, I had a mental image of frozen-food employees at Superstore in a back room clustered around a tub of ice cream.

"Guys, the boss is coming!"

"Quick, Joe, stash the goods!"

"Where am I supposed to hide it?!"

"Anywhere, just be quick!!"

At this point, Joe jammed his spoon into his pocket, wiped his ice creamy mouth off with his sleeve and stuffed my beautiful tub of Hoofprints back in with all the other flavours. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

At any rate, I thought Scotsburn should know about this. (After all, I got a $2.00 coupon when I e-mailed Nestle about my solid-chocolate Kit Kat bar. Which despite its lack of wafer, was still fantastic). Scotsburn, being the fantastic company I now know they are, send me several e-mails of apology and called me TWICE to apologize some more - once by a customer service rep and again by some head manager guy, even though they confirmed that it couldn't possibly have happened at the factory and must have been Joe from frozen foods. Not only did they apologize profusely, they also sent me four coupons for free two-litre tubs of ice cream. Tonight's thigh-inducer was free tub number three. I still have one more.
FOUR free tubs of ice cream! At the exorbitant not-on-sale price of $6.19 a tub, that's almost $25 in free ice cream! Surely God is good to me.

I just hope I don't get swine flu.

No comments:

Post a Comment