Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lemon Ginger Tea what we've been living off of the past few days. Eli has been feeling under the weather since Thursday, and Saturday the flu finally hit him hard. I was thankful the puke-fest happened while I was over at the church and my wonderful husband dealt with the aftereffects. I was really tired when I got home but managed to haul myself into town to pick up groceries, because we really needed them quite desperately. I'm glad I did it, but as soon as I got home I crashed. I was barely able to throw some supper together, thankfully I had stuck a chicken in the oven to roast before I left. Anyway, I ended up being sick that night and Sunday morning was pretty desperately ill with the flu. Couldn't even keep water down. Eli was still sick too, and my wonderful husband stayed home all day and took care of us. We were disappointed to miss church since there was a missionary coming to speak and a luncheon afterwards, but there was nothing for it. Eli and I were in no condition to go, or to be left alone. My sweet husband was patient and understanding as he got me everything I needed, took care of diaper changes and rocked our boy to sleep. I must have told him a hundred times that I was so thankful for him, and I still don't feel like it was enough.
The sudden reversal of roles was frustrating for me. In our early days of marriage it didn't bother me a bit to have him wait on me, but now that a couple of years have gone by I hate not being able to take care of him, to fix his meals and make the home a pleasant place for him to be. Certainly we strive to serve each other equally in our marriage, both doing things to help the other, but there are just some things that have naturally fallen to one or the other. Since I'm home, it just makes sense that I cook the meals and keep the house clean and take care of Eli. To be suddenly stripped of that ability makes you feel very helpless. I think it was partly an issue of wanting Cory to not be as miserable as I was, and wishing I were well enough that he could have gone to church and work, but it's also largely a control issue. I hate not being in charge of my own house.
But it's Wednesday now, and I'm finally starting to perk up a tiny bit. I made and ate three real meals today for the first time since Saturday, and ran one load of laundry. There's a lot more to catch up on, but I have to take it pretty easy. I was getting worried when I couldn't even keep water down on Sunday, knowing that if I didn't start being able to keep it down soon I was going to get too dehydrated and the risk of early labour would start to become more real. It's a lot scarier when you know your body is trying to keep you well and also take care of another little life! As much as I hate hospitals, I knew that IV fluids were going to become necessary if another day like that went by. Praise God it didn't, and that Baby Boy is well protected from viruses inside of me. I can't imagine having to deal with this AND a newborn... ugh. Some things are better left unimagined.
After taking Monday and Tuesday off to help take care of us (and because he wasn't feeling so great himself, though he hasn't got the flu yet), Cory headed back to work today. I missed him, Eli and I had a hard time getting along with each other since he's still very weepy and whiny despite feeling a lot better, and my temper is short and patience worn very thin right now. We managed not to kill each other until Cory got home, and he is blissfully asleep for the night. As I will be too before much longer.
Maybe after I finish this cup of lemon ginger tea. This is my favourite tea even when I'm not sick, and when I am sick it soothes my throat and calms my stomach and comforts my soul. Perfect.

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