Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Perfect Mama

This morning, I rose at six. I made a pot of coffee and curled up in the comfy chair with my Bible and read a chapter. I prepared healthy green smoothies for my family for breakfast, then showered and dressed, gave my husband a kiss goodbye and cleaned up the kitchen. Eli and I did school together, and then we baked a batch of cookies.

Yes, I'm pretty much the perfect mother.

Or... am I?

I did get up at six - when Theo demanded to be fed and Eli climbed into our bed. I groaned and grumbled that they never sleep in.

I did make a pot of coffee - out of necessity - and curl up to read my chapter. I also snapped at Eli for disturbing me during this "me" time and insisted that he sit on the couch by himself rather than curl up in my lap. I read quickly and skipped prayer so I could check my e-mail.

I did make delicious, healthy green smoothies for breakfast - then had a 30 minute battle with my toddler who was refusing to drink his.

I did shower and get dressed - after sharply berating my husband for not paying close enough attention to Eli.

I did  kiss my husband (who was gracious enough to forgive my grumpiness) and clean up the kitchen - because I hadn't cleaned it very well the night before.

I did do school with Eli - though my short temper made it a difficult and stressful experience for both of us.

I did bake a batch of cookies with Eli - and snapped at him again for spilling oats on the floor.

Halfway through the morning, when I snapped at my active toddler once again and sent him to his room, I took a minute to breathe and calm down. I've been struggling some with anxiety the last few days and it's getting to me. I went back into his room, scooped him up and cuddled him, and prayed with him for a minute. Two year olds are so quick to forgive! Everything wasn't magically all better, but it helped a lot.

When my husband came home on this rainy day to hear classical music playing softly in the background and to see me pulling a tray of butterscotch cookies out of the oven, he praised me for creating such a calm, happy atmosphere. He's almost as quick to forgive as our two year old! All my meanness from the morning dissolved in the bowl of my stand mixer. I should never underestimate the power of gentle music, cookies... and a quick prayer!

Blogs are a funny thing. It's so easy to present only the good in my life. To brag about what we're accomplishing and all my hard work. It's only too easy to hide the battles, the crankiness, and my short temper. Unfortunately, that's not really what my life is like. But by the grace of God... it's getting there. Two steps forward and one step back. Today was a "one step back" kind of day. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a "two steps forward!"


  1. I LOVE your honesty in this post! And yes, you are not alone. Life is not easy, and how many time we need to be gracious and reflect of the grace that have been bestowed on us!

    On those days, when we are not the perfect mother,prayers is a must and forgiveness as to be given freely!

  2. There are no perfect mamas, so while you try to improve cut yourself some slack. I'm new to your blog and have spent some time browsing through your earlier posts. I'm so glad I did that. You've created a really nice spot for your readers to visit and I enjoyed the time I spent here. I'll definitely be back. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...Mary

  3. Sucha great post! Today has also been a one step back for me today as I did my fair share of snapping this morning. :( I do not like those moments and wish they were few and far between. Being a mom is the most sanctifying process that I know of! But it's for our good and His glory!